Be Unreasonable: The bold mindset that creates unstoppable captains

Every breakthrough in history began with someone being unreasonable. Just look at the Wright brothers who dedicated themselves to the goal of human flight despite being laughed at for their preposterous notion, and went on to revolutionise aviation and transport. Or Steve Jobs who defied the naysayers when he promised you could have 1,000 songs in your pocket, and then launched the iPod.

‘Be Unreasonable’ is the basis of the book, ‘Unstoppable: Living Beyond Our Limits’ by Stew Darling - CEO of Unstoppable Force, former British Army officer and spy turned elite strategist, global keynote speaker, business transformation coach, and BPTW^TM partner. The Best Places to Work^TM team were incredibly fortunate to catch up with Stew recently to hear his thoughts on what being unreasonable means and how this applies to the way business ‘leaders’ impact their workplaces.

Are you a leader, or a captain?
You may have noticed we said ‘leaders’ in the last paragraph. This was intentional.

Both words have a similar meaning in terms of providing direction for others, but the energy behind them is very different. While leaders stand at the front and people follow, a captain steers from within, guiding their team with presence rather than authority.

If you apply this to the leaders within your organisation, are they somewhat isolated in their position of authority, or are they aligned with the team to co-author pathways forward as they steer the ship?

Great captains move horizontally
The world moves a lot faster than it ever has. Our cars go faster. Our internet is faster. Our kids seem to grow up faster. And we promote people into leadership roles faster. The problem with this is that rapid promotions often overlook the horizontal experience needed to build confident, capable captains.

While everyone’s path is unique and determined by their skillsets, there seems to be an increasing number of leaders who are not adequately equipped to deal with some of the challenges that come their way. And being in a position of authority, they may not feel they can ask for help or training. Often what happens is the person feels vulnerable and tends to operate from a fight or flight position, which can result in a leader who micro-manages, deflects, lacks transparency, makes reactive decisions, and is very stressed. And being in such a visible position, the energy of this leader is tangible and has a direct impact on the workplace culture.

Compare this to a captain who has the context and perspective of horizontal experience and understands what their people are going through because they have lived and learned it themselves. There is a calm confidence in their actions and a fundamental sense of assurance that reflects across the organisation. This person isn’t guessing, or winging it. And because of this, you’ll likely find the culture and mindsets of the team to be significantly more engaged, confident, and relaxed than those who have the stressed, deflecting, reactive leader.

Society norms may say that it’s unreasonable for someone to take the time to gather the horizontal breadth of experience instead of commanding a faster pathway to the top. That we should all be aiming to get there as quickly as possible. But the lateral experience the captain has gained almost always ladders up to them being someone with mana/presence who the team deeply respects and trusts, and who is highly successful. And there is nothing wrong with existing captains taking the time to learn and grow laterally so that they are uplifting capability while also steering the ship. Indeed, this too is unreasonable!

Great captains are unreasonable in how they connect with their teams
Great captains foster environments that feel like a workplace hug—where people feel seen, valued, and supported. This isn't just about kindness; it’s about driving engagement, connection, resilience, and success. And hugs are proven to be vital for human survival - they promote physical and emotional wellbeing, support social connections, reduce stress, and even boost the immune system. These are also all important things for workplaces.

So how do we emulate a hug in a workplace environment? According to Stew, we should all be giving hugs all the time. But understanding this is not always feasible or ‘reasonable’, the way that captains can create the energy of a hug in a workplace environment starts with their own energy - how they are, communicate, and move through their day. This takes many different forms:

Being aware of your body language. 55% of communication is non-verbal and happens before we even speak a word. Your body language can sometimes tell a totally different story to what you are saying (think of why some politicians are so deeply mistrusted - their body language doesn’t match their words!)
Being aware of the tone and cadence of your voice. 38% of our communication comes just from this.
And then being aware of the energy of the words you use. All words have energy, and this energy reverberates across a workplace and culture.

We can all be unreasonable captains
We must be unreasonable if we are going to change things. Every person is born with a story, and an identity. These things shape the thoughts we have, our perspectives and perceptions, our sense of self worth, our biases, and prejudices.

The wonderful thing is that we can change these. Especially if they don’t serve us well. And that’s what being unreasonable is. Making positive changes within ourselves, our lives, and our workplaces. Even if the narrative we’ve always had says something different. Even if being unreasonable ….. is unreasonable.

Being an unreasonable captain is empowering your people to have their say, and having the courage to hear their thoughts and feelings, and respond. Great insight often comes from those at the coalface, and these insights can be utilised to drive unreasonable growth and improvement. A safe first step is with the Best Places to Work^TM Employee Engagement Survey.

So, how unreasonable are you? Will you be the captain who dares to lead differently and builds an unstoppable team?

If you’d like to read Stew’s book, Unstoppable, you can purchase it here.

And if you’d like Stew’s guidance about being an unreasonable captain, speak to the team at BPTW^TM for an intro.